Apparently, We're All Going To Hell

A few years ago I worked at a local AM Gospel station.  I was a board operator which basically means that I flipped a few switches, turned a few dials, answered some phones and generally made sure everything sounded right. On Saturdays we had a lot of live shows that I had to run and they were full of interesting individuals

On my very first Saturday I had the "pleasure" of meeting an Evangelist (whose name I have decided not to mention) who gave me one of those religious tract comic book thingys.  Paperclipped inside of it was a piece of paper.  The following was written on it:

SINS THAT CONDEMN ONE TO HELL (according to GOD'S WORD.)

ARE YOU GUILTY?

In Psalms 9:17 God says: 'The Wicked shall be turned into Hell' and in 1 John 5:19 God says: '…the Whole World lieth in Wickedness.' In several passages of the New Testament, God lists sins that condemn one to Hell and to the Lake of Fire. In Galations 5:19-21 God says; 19) 'Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these;

ADULTERY (Adultery is sex outside of marriage, thus having sex with any person other than one's first husband or wife, as long as they are living, is condemned by God as Adultery.)(Adultery also includes MENTAL ADULTERY which is looking and lusting after women on bathing suit beaches, in Playboy Magazine, etc.),

            FORNICATION (Fornication is having sex with someone before you are married to them which includes "shacking" and so-called "common law marriage".),

            UNCLEANNESS (Uncleanness includes all unclean fleshly habits and this condemns snuff dippers, tobacco chewers, pipe and cigar and cigarette smokers, people who fool with drugs like cocaine and marijuana, etc.),

            LASCIVIOUSNESS (Lasciviousness means 'exciting to lust, wanton, lewd' and this condemns all dirty joke tellers and all dirty book readers as well as all people who do not dress modestly, including all cheerleaders, majorettes, men and women who wear swimsuits in public, all people who participate in nudist colonies, women who wear slit skirts or miniskirts, halters, shorts, tight pants, men who wear shorts like boxers or wrestlers, etc. It also condemns all playboy and Hustler Magazine reaers, all people who look at X and R-Rated Movies or dirty shows and movies on T.V., al people who participate in slow-dancing or petting, Masturbation, etc.)

(20) IDOLATRY (Idolat ry is 'the worship of idols' and an idol is 'a person or thing adored'. Thus idolatry would condemn all people who love and adore money, new cars, new houses, pleasure, television, horses, a person, or any other thing that would claim one's first love and loyalty before God.),

WITCHCRAFT (Witchcraft is dealing with demon spirits, magic, and the occult and this condemns all witches and warlocks, palm-readers and those who go to them, séances, ouiji board users, horoscope readers and all people who fool around with astrology, fortune tellers,Satan worshippers, Black magic, etc.),

HATRED (Hatred would condemn the Ku Klux Klan, all prejudiced people, and any person who hates for any reason.),

VARIANCE (Variance is argumentative disagreements and this condemns barroom brawls, married couples who argue and fight with each other, etc.),

EMULATIONS (Emulations are'strivings to equal or excel' and this condemns all who participate in or watch the worldly sports of football, baseball, soccer, basketball, boxing, wrestling, car racing, horse racing, track, the Olympics, etc. and it also condemns beauty contests like 'Miss America,' Bingo players,etc.),

WRATH (Wrath is fierce anger or rage and this condemns all people who have so-called 'tempers' and who do violence to someone or use filthy language or profanity in a state of rage.),

SEDITIONS (Seditions are incitements of rebellion and this condemns all who participate in revolutions and all people on earth who live in sin and rebellion against God and his Word.),

HERESIES (Heresies are false or unsound doctrines like the Catholic false doctrine on Purgatory, the Jehovah's Witness false doctrine concerning there being no hell-fire everlasting punishment for the wicked, the Mormon false doctrine which states that a man can have five different wives at the same time, the Baptist false doctrine on salvation-"easy believism"and also their 'once-saved-always-saved'false doctrine, and the false doctrines taught by the Moonies, the Hare-krishnas, Hinduism,etc.),

(21)ENVYINGS (Envying is ill will combined with jealousy and this condemns all who enviously desire to have another person's car, house, wife, etc.),

MURDERS (To murder is to kill with premeditated ill will and this condemns all murderous crimes, all baby killers who participate in abortions, all who kill and murder in war,).

DRUNKENNESS(To be drunk is to be intoxicated on liquor and this condemns all people who get drunk on beer, whiskey, wine, etc.),

REVELINGS (Revelling is 'loud boisterous, noisy merry-making or partying' and this condemns all people  who listen to or dance  to rock and roll music and all people who attend night clubs, discoteques, bars, Rock Concerts, Sock Hops, College fraternity parties, halls, wild parties, etc.),

AND SUCH LIKE (Condemns people who do such things as the evil things listed above)     

:OF THE WHICH I TELL YOU BEFORE, AS I HAVE ALSO TOLD YOU IN TIME PAST, THAT THEY WHICH DO SUCH THINGS SHALL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD,"(Thus God says that people who do the evil things listed above shall not go to heaven, thus they must go to Hell unless they repent and turn to do these evil things no more…'LET GOD BE TRUE, BUT EVERY MAN A LIAR'-Romans 3:4 and remember Jesus's warning in Luke13:3- '…EXCEPT YE REPENT, YE SHALL ALL LIKEWISE PERISH.')

Now is the time where FlavaDave interjects his own opinions:

While I am not a religious person, I grew up in a very religious home. My parents even sent me to a Christian school for my first year of college (BTW I hated it there). So, I have some background in this area. Until I received this piece of paper, I had never seen/heard such...craziness is the only word that comes to mind. I refuse to believe that Bingo is a sin.

As I was retyping this to put on here, I tried to keep everything the same as it was written on the paper.  I changed the formatting to make it easier to read but I left all the grammatical, syntax and spelling errors.  Anything that I have written in Itallics was highlighted by the Evangelist.

I hope that you now realize that, according to this, we are all going to hell.  I'll try to save you a seat.