Meat Week 2011: Day 1

So, yesterday was the first day of Meat Week 2011 and we kicked it off with a pretty good turnout here in Atlanta.  We met up at Daddy D'z Bar-B-Que Joynt in Grant Park for some barbecue goodness. I even met a very nice girl. Unfortunately for me, she is married. But that didn't stop us from having a nice conversation. A couple of my roommates even joined me so it was nice to be amongst friends at this joyous event. One of the really cool things about Daddy D'z is that they have appetizers, something I don't see often at BBQ joints. My roommates ordered mozzarella sticks and something called que wraps. These looked a lot like small egg rolls but are filled with pork and you get to dip them in BBQ sauce. Go there. Try these. Thank me.

WHAT I ATE:
Pulled pork, Mac n Cheese, Green Beans, White toast, Water (I tasted my roommate's sweet tea and it was delicious), Mozzarella sticks, Que wraps

Pictures can be seen over at the main site for Meat Week

Stop Asking Me For Money

I am a college graduate. Based on my writing abilities, you might not believe that, but its true.  I have a degree in Broadcasting from Georgia Southern University. Not only that, but I am technically working in the field of Broadcasting. I've found than not many people can say they actually work in the same field as their major, so I'm doing pretty well. Well, in the working in my field sense. Not in the I make a lot of money in my field sense.

Moving on.


Now that I've graduated, I get to look forward to getting a phone call at least once a year from one of the students at Georgia Southern. Not because I know anyone there anymore or because I am some kind of celebrity that went there. No, none of that. They're calling me for money.

I got my semi-yearly call just about an hour ago. It went something like this:

GIRL: Can I speak to David Montero please?
ME: That's me.
GIRL: Hi, I'm <random girl whose name I didn't care to remember> and I'm a sophomore at Georgia Southern University and I just wanted to call and tell you how things have been going here on campus...<random crap happening at the school I graduated from 5 years ago>
ME: uh huh...uh huh...uh huh...oh that's nice...uh huh...oh wow...uh huh...
GIRL: What was your major while you were here?
ME: Broadcasting
GIRL: Oh cool. I'm actually in Broadcasting too.

Now I'd like to stop and address something right here. This girl just flat out lied to me. I can't really convey how she said that last statement here in text. But just know that the way she said it told me that she wasn't even in the same department as Broadcasting, much less in the actual major. This is just one of those tactics used to try to make me more comfortable with what is to come later in the conversation. It didn't work.

GIRL:So do you have any advice for someone like me going into broadcasting?
ME: Yeah, don't. There's no money in it.
GIRL: Oh, ha ha (She actually said the words ha ha. Again: FAKE) Don't tell me that.
ME: Its true.

She quickly moved on.


GIRL: OK. So I just wanted to confirm your address for our records. Do you still live at <my address>?
ME: Yes.
GIRL: <something about how the money from alumni is helping to fund different things at the school>
ME: Let me stop you right there. I can see that you're about to start asking me for money. I'd like to go ahead and tell you that I don't have any. I can barely make my rent so I certainly don't have any to give to you guys. I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't want to waste your time or mine.
GIRL: Oh...Ok...well...thanks...um...have a good day.
ME: You too!

This is not the first or likely the last time I've had this conversation. Those of you who have graduated from college have probably also had calls like this from time to time. The point is, just because I graduated from there, doesn't mean I want to give them money.  Even if I had the money I doubt I'd give them any. I enjoyed going to school there and I hope that they have many more great years, but I have more pressing things to pay for. Sorry. Guess you'll have to find someone that actually makes money.

Meat Week is Back!!!!

What's that?

You've never heard of Meat Week?

Well you're in for a treat! A treat of MEAT!!!

Let me see if I can accurately explain this wonderful event to you:
Meat Week is actually an eight day event where like-minded people get together and eat barbecue at a different BBQ joint every night for the week preceding the Super Bowl.  By like-minded I mean people who love BBQ.

Maybe you're thinking "Oh Noes! I love BBQ but I don't live near Atlanta where you are. Boo!"

Well, not to worry my friend. There are Meat Week chapters all over the US and even one in London, England so you Brits can get in on the fun too.  Just check out the locations to find out where to go. I'll also post a link directly to the Atlanta schedule for those of you who would like to join us.

Also you can check out the rest of the Meat Week site to learn more about it, buy shirts or see pictures.

I plan to attend as many nights as possible this year, if not every night, and then I'll post about them here daily.

Until then,

MEAT BE WITH YOU

Apparently, We're All Going To Hell

A few years ago I worked at a local AM Gospel station.  I was a board operator which basically means that I flipped a few switches, turned a few dials, answered some phones and generally made sure everything sounded right. On Saturdays we had a lot of live shows that I had to run and they were full of interesting individuals

On my very first Saturday I had the "pleasure" of meeting an Evangelist (whose name I have decided not to mention) who gave me one of those religious tract comic book thingys.  Paperclipped inside of it was a piece of paper.  The following was written on it:

SINS THAT CONDEMN ONE TO HELL (according to GOD'S WORD.)

ARE YOU GUILTY?

In Psalms 9:17 God says: 'The Wicked shall be turned into Hell' and in 1 John 5:19 God says: '…the Whole World lieth in Wickedness.' In several passages of the New Testament, God lists sins that condemn one to Hell and to the Lake of Fire. In Galations 5:19-21 God says; 19) 'Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these;

ADULTERY (Adultery is sex outside of marriage, thus having sex with any person other than one's first husband or wife, as long as they are living, is condemned by God as Adultery.)(Adultery also includes MENTAL ADULTERY which is looking and lusting after women on bathing suit beaches, in Playboy Magazine, etc.),

            FORNICATION (Fornication is having sex with someone before you are married to them which includes "shacking" and so-called "common law marriage".),

            UNCLEANNESS (Uncleanness includes all unclean fleshly habits and this condemns snuff dippers, tobacco chewers, pipe and cigar and cigarette smokers, people who fool with drugs like cocaine and marijuana, etc.),

            LASCIVIOUSNESS (Lasciviousness means 'exciting to lust, wanton, lewd' and this condemns all dirty joke tellers and all dirty book readers as well as all people who do not dress modestly, including all cheerleaders, majorettes, men and women who wear swimsuits in public, all people who participate in nudist colonies, women who wear slit skirts or miniskirts, halters, shorts, tight pants, men who wear shorts like boxers or wrestlers, etc. It also condemns all playboy and Hustler Magazine reaers, all people who look at X and R-Rated Movies or dirty shows and movies on T.V., al people who participate in slow-dancing or petting, Masturbation, etc.)

(20) IDOLATRY (Idolat ry is 'the worship of idols' and an idol is 'a person or thing adored'. Thus idolatry would condemn all people who love and adore money, new cars, new houses, pleasure, television, horses, a person, or any other thing that would claim one's first love and loyalty before God.),

WITCHCRAFT (Witchcraft is dealing with demon spirits, magic, and the occult and this condemns all witches and warlocks, palm-readers and those who go to them, séances, ouiji board users, horoscope readers and all people who fool around with astrology, fortune tellers,Satan worshippers, Black magic, etc.),

HATRED (Hatred would condemn the Ku Klux Klan, all prejudiced people, and any person who hates for any reason.),

VARIANCE (Variance is argumentative disagreements and this condemns barroom brawls, married couples who argue and fight with each other, etc.),

EMULATIONS (Emulations are'strivings to equal or excel' and this condemns all who participate in or watch the worldly sports of football, baseball, soccer, basketball, boxing, wrestling, car racing, horse racing, track, the Olympics, etc. and it also condemns beauty contests like 'Miss America,' Bingo players,etc.),

WRATH (Wrath is fierce anger or rage and this condemns all people who have so-called 'tempers' and who do violence to someone or use filthy language or profanity in a state of rage.),

SEDITIONS (Seditions are incitements of rebellion and this condemns all who participate in revolutions and all people on earth who live in sin and rebellion against God and his Word.),

HERESIES (Heresies are false or unsound doctrines like the Catholic false doctrine on Purgatory, the Jehovah's Witness false doctrine concerning there being no hell-fire everlasting punishment for the wicked, the Mormon false doctrine which states that a man can have five different wives at the same time, the Baptist false doctrine on salvation-"easy believism"and also their 'once-saved-always-saved'false doctrine, and the false doctrines taught by the Moonies, the Hare-krishnas, Hinduism,etc.),

(21)ENVYINGS (Envying is ill will combined with jealousy and this condemns all who enviously desire to have another person's car, house, wife, etc.),

MURDERS (To murder is to kill with premeditated ill will and this condemns all murderous crimes, all baby killers who participate in abortions, all who kill and murder in war,).

DRUNKENNESS(To be drunk is to be intoxicated on liquor and this condemns all people who get drunk on beer, whiskey, wine, etc.),

REVELINGS (Revelling is 'loud boisterous, noisy merry-making or partying' and this condemns all people  who listen to or dance  to rock and roll music and all people who attend night clubs, discoteques, bars, Rock Concerts, Sock Hops, College fraternity parties, halls, wild parties, etc.),

AND SUCH LIKE (Condemns people who do such things as the evil things listed above)     

:OF THE WHICH I TELL YOU BEFORE, AS I HAVE ALSO TOLD YOU IN TIME PAST, THAT THEY WHICH DO SUCH THINGS SHALL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD,"(Thus God says that people who do the evil things listed above shall not go to heaven, thus they must go to Hell unless they repent and turn to do these evil things no more…'LET GOD BE TRUE, BUT EVERY MAN A LIAR'-Romans 3:4 and remember Jesus's warning in Luke13:3- '…EXCEPT YE REPENT, YE SHALL ALL LIKEWISE PERISH.')

Now is the time where FlavaDave interjects his own opinions:

While I am not a religious person, I grew up in a very religious home. My parents even sent me to a Christian school for my first year of college (BTW I hated it there). So, I have some background in this area. Until I received this piece of paper, I had never seen/heard such...craziness is the only word that comes to mind. I refuse to believe that Bingo is a sin.

As I was retyping this to put on here, I tried to keep everything the same as it was written on the paper.  I changed the formatting to make it easier to read but I left all the grammatical, syntax and spelling errors.  Anything that I have written in Itallics was highlighted by the Evangelist.

I hope that you now realize that, according to this, we are all going to hell.  I'll try to save you a seat.

Is everyone in New York dead?

I watch a lot of television. By that, I mean, of course, that I watch a lot of television shows on Netflix. Some of the things I really like to watch are police procedural shows like CSI and Law and Order.  I've noticed that a lot of these shows take place in New York City and that these shows have been going on for many years.

This has led me to believe that everyone in New York City has been murdered at some point in their lives. Probably at the end. From watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit I believe that everyone in New York City has been raped and then murdered.

Seriously, I love these shows but there are so many of them and they've been going on for so long that they've got to be running out of victims.  I don't know why anyone would want to live in NYC. You are guaranteed to get raped and/or murdered. So if you are reading this from The Big Apple, GET OUT NOW!!!

Dancing With The Stars can apparently lead to violence

After watching Bristol Palin( yes, the daughter of Sarah Palin)'s routine on Dancing With The Stars, Steven Cowan of Vermont, Wisconsin pulled out a shotgun, blasted his television and then turned the gun on his wife. She escaped and called the police which led to SWAT showing up and the man was arrested for reckless endangerment.  You can red the full story here but I want to make a few points of my own.  I've seen this coming for a little while now for 2 main reasons: 1) Dancing With The Stars is awful, it really is. It is by far the worst idea I've seen for a reality show and I'll be glad when its finally over for good. 2) Since when is Bristol Palin a star of anything except teenage pregnancy. Why do we make politicians and their promiscuous children celebrities? It makes no since to me. Leave your comments to let me know how you feel about it.

Auto-Tune The News

I'm sure by now you've heard of Antoine Dodson and the Bed Intruder Song.  If not, then slap yourself right in the face and check it out. What you may not know is that this iTunes phenomenon was created by The Gregory Brothers and Schmoyoho (accent on the YO). It came from their series, Auto-Tune The News, a youtube sensation that makes the news tolerable, nay enjoyable and catchy. Check it out.  You'll be informed and entertained.  At the same time. Crazy right?

Covers Better Than The Originals

Every now and then, someone comes along and writes a song.  Some people like it some people don't. Some people don't even hear it.  But then, sometimes, someone else comes along and re-records that song.  This is called a cover.  And sometimes, just sometimes, the cover completely outshines the original.  You are about to see a list of covers that I think are better than the originals.  But first I want to get a few things out of the way.  This is not a complete list and I am likely to add to it from time to time.  Secondly, there will be in no particular order.  Lastly, this is what is called an opinion.  These are covers that I think are better.  Maybe you don't think so.  And that's fine.  That's YOUR opinion.  Just know that when it comes to this blog, my opinion is the one that counts. On to the list.

Song title - Cover artist - Original artist

Click on the artist names for the youtube videos and compare for yourself

Say My Name - Sick Puppies - Destiny's Child

My Way - Sid Vicious - Frank Sinatra

Lollipop - Framing Hanley - Lil Wayne

Mad World - Gary Jules - Tears For Fears

All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix - Bob Dylan

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley - Leonard Cohen

This last one I don't want to say is necessarily better but its certainly an honorable mention

Hey Ya - Mat Weddle - Outkast

More to come (maybe)

Justin Bieber Got Hit in the Face with a Water Bottle

You may have already seen this, but I still think its hilarious

Justin Bieber Hit in the Face

Demotivational Posters

A great way to waste time: at work, at home, in the bathroom, at a wedding, at a funeral, in court, in bed, or anywhere else you can think of.

This is an awesome site to check out.

Authentic is the Spanish word for Bland

I went on a date with this girl a while back.  I'm not gonna tell you the details of it because I don't know you and that would be weird. However, I will tell you that we went to this Mexican restaurant. But it wasn't just any Mexican joint.  This place served "authentic" Mexican food.  I quickly realized that I couldn't really pronounce most of the stuff on the menu so I chose the one thing I was sure of.  I ordered a steak taco. What came out was a bit different than what I was expecting. They brought my a plate with two soft corn tortilla shells stacked on top of one another in the center of these was a small helping of marinated steak, onions and cilantro. I did what anyone would do in my situation. I rolled it up and took a bite. What I tasted was the second blandest thing I've ever eaten (the first was some vegetarian enchiladas my ex made for me once). I unwrapped the taco and proceeded to eat just the steak. It was great. I don't know how it was prepared but it was delicious. Unfortunately there were only about six small pieces so it didn't really make up a whole meal. The queso dip helped with that though. I've gotta say that while the place was very nice and the service was friendly and prompt, I'll not be going back. I don't see why anyone would go to a restaurant to eat something so bland. And if it really is as authentic as they say, I can't believe that an entire country can survive on that food. I think I'll stick with Taco Bell and Frontera.

Here is a picture that loosely describes my feelings about the restaurant: 

P.S. Some of you may be surprised that I went on a date.

P.P.S. Screw You!

Unicorns: The most badass animals ever concieved of!

Most people seem to have the same idea when it comes to unicorns.  They see this majestic animal that has magical healing powers. People think unicorns are the sweetest cutest things in the world.  I have a different view: Unicorns are absolutely badass animals that will rip you apart!  Lets think about this logically.  A unicorn is basically a horse( a very powerful animal by any standards) that has a huge, diamond-sharp spike coming out of its head. What is this spike for? Its for impaling you! For further proof of this check out this picture:

Sparklelord in all his majesty

Need I say more?

Check out Dr McNinja to find out what this is about.

An Atlanta landmark

If you are from Atlanta or currently live here then you are probably aware of a store called Murder Kroger.  If you don't know what I'm speaking of then you should check out this article because I can't do the store any more justice.

Also check out this song from my good friends in Attractive Eighties Women

Attractive Eighties Women - Murder Kroger

If you don't want people to see it, don't put it on the internet

This is a video that a dude made for a specific girl. Unfortunately for him, someone else found it. Fortunately for us, they put it on the internet.  The really funny stuff is around 2:20.

Mwahahaha

Webcomics are funny!

Do you like webcomics? Well here are some of my favorites if you'd like to check them out.

Least I Could Do
Looking For Group
Ctrl Atl Del
XKCD
Dr McNinja
Questionable Content

I may add more to this list at a later date. Stay tuned

The Panda Mafia

For those of you who don't know, there is a bit of a bamboo forest behind our building.  Some of the guys and I fully believe that living in that forest is a wildlife mafia run by ninja pandas. Don't ask me how we came up with this. We just did. Over the years that we've been working here we have seen various elements of this wildlife mafia. We've seen raccoons which we believe to be Black Ops, cute little kittens that are undoubtedly spies, and squirrel engineers. We've never seen the pandas which makes perfect sense considering they are ninjas. Thankfully none of these animals have threatened us. However, that could change at any moment. If we ever go off the air, there's a good chance that we've been brutally murdered by these wild yet organized creatures.

This Panda is about to murder a family of 4

Pay attention girls

Attractive on girls:

Baseball Caps

Now I'm not saying that you have to wear a hat. What I'm saying is that hats look good on girls, even when the girl doesn't think it does. It makes it look like you're a bit laid back in your appearance, which is a good thing.

T-Shirt and Jeans

Again, you look laid back. You don't always have to dress up nice.

Sneakers

Not enough girls wear sneakers these days. It seems to be all sandals and boots. Sneakers make a girl look fun.
















Unattractive on girls:

Poofed Hair

The poofed hair thing just looks stupid. Don't do it. The duck lips don't help either.

Tit-Curtains

The thing about these fashion disasters is that they were originally made for pregnant women but they are so comfy that girls keep wearing them. The problem is that they make you look like you're hiding a pregnancy. If you're not pregnant, don't dress like it. Most guys don't want to see that unless they're the ones that knocked you up.
(Also, I got this picture from here. Hopefully Maddox will be cool and not sue me)

Complicated Sandals

Complicated sandals make you look like a complicated person. That's not how you want to come across. If you wanna show off your pedicure just wear flip-flops. Flip-flops are good for all occasions.

Teleporters: Pros and Cons

Pros:
1. Quick and easy transport of people/products between locations
2. Lower pollution due to electric power source
3. No possibility of crash/collision
4. Make booty calls waaaaay easier.
 
Cons:
1. Thousands if not millions of layoffs from automotive and airline industries
2. Possible traffic in subspace (or however the hell teleportation works)
3. Possible side effects (i.e. The Fly)
4. Today on Maury: "That aint my teleporter baby"

Double You Tee Eff

Chances are, you've seen the video of the 8-9 year old girls dancing to Beyonce's Single Ladies (greatest video of all time, according to some). If you haven't seen it yet, you can watch it here. You will also notice another video of some of the same girls a year earlier when they were 7 dancing to My Boyfriend's Back. So what do I talk about first? The severe lack of clothing? The provocative dancing? The promising careers in stripping or hooking? Now, I know that girls in the 16-18 range are likely to do the exact same stuff and it wouldn't raise too many eyebrows (it might raise something else but certainly not eyebrows). But all of these girls are under the age of 10. I would ask where the parents are but they can clearly be heard cheering on the kids from the crowd. Now I don't have any children of my own but I'm fairly certain that ther is no way I would let any daughters of mine strut around like this while they were still in elementary school. So I'll just ask you this: would you let your daughter dress/dance like this? You may also notice on that link that there is a poll that asks that very question. Surprisingly, at the time of this writing, 5,384 people voted yes. So I ask again, WTF?

Why do they keep making more American Idol?

I mean, there has been 9 full seasons and I couldn't tell you half of the winners. The three most popular people to come from this show are Kelly Clarckson, Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry (and Daughtry didn't even win, he came in 4th). What happened to all the others? Apparently, winning this major competition that millions of people vote on every week doesn't instantly make you a super star. What happened to Ruben Studdard or Fantasia Barrino or Taylor Hicks (I had to look those names up)? Millions of people voted for them and William Hung got more press than any of them. I know more about Paula Abdul allegedly sleeping with one of the contestants than I do about any of the contestants themselves. I just can't believe that people still watch this show or even want to be on it. I remember a time when I was waiting tables and I was told by a married man that I needed to get his families' meals out quickly so that HE could go home and watch American Idol.  What has this country come to? Shouldn't he be having a beer and watching the game or catching up on the days news? Not watching this people try to make something of themselves by covering the songs of singers with actual talent. Maybe I'm alone in all of this but I highly doubt it.